Every soul needs only three things
Acceptance, appreciation, approval.
Every soul needs them.
Wherever someone gets it from, he would go there.
Because that is the need today in this iron age.
Because every soul has become depleted.
So acceptance, appreciation and approval will empower them.
Who do we go to, to share our feelings?
Someone who listens to us and understands.
Someone who loves and supports us.
We will not go to someone who scolds or criticizes us. We stay away from such people.
We get so many emails stating mistakes that happened. Sometimes those mistakes are very big.
Some children write in the last line - Please don't tell my parents.
Is it good?
Actually I only the fair and can help out in that problem, with love and support.
But the child doesn't want to inform parents because he knows the reaction. What will the parent do?
A parent will reject and scold child for the mistake.
Why will that child speak to the parent then?
Children are ready to tell us the truth. But are we prepared to hear the truth?
Today please sit with your entire family
And give each other this message -
That you can come and tell me about everything in your life. Everything includes literally everything.
And when they actually come and tell us
We need to first take care of ourselves, to not react impulsively.
Even if a child has done a mistake, what does the child need at that moment?
But what do we give that child?
When we reject a child, there are a few friends of that child who are willing to accept him.
Every soul needs acceptance. So gradually where with that child go?
Today many parents complain that children listen to their friends. Why does a child listen to his friends?
Because parents rejected and friends accepted that child.
At some point those friends will ask the child to do something which he doesn't actually want to do.
But he cannot afford to lose their acceptance. Therefore the child starts doing it unwillingly.
When a child smoked a cigarette for the first time, perhaps he felt like doing it.
Later on his friends will ask him to do something else, which he doesn't want to do. But he ends up doing.
Because he is not getting acceptance from family already. Now he doesn't want to lose the acceptance from friends.
If we all start accepting each other in the family
Our family members will not come pressure from anyone else.
They will not engage in doing anything which we will regret later.
Are we ready to hear the truth? Yes.
We need to remember that they are doing it, as it is.
But if the hide it from parents and do it, they might get into more trouble.
Accepting does not mean you ask them to continue smoking. That is not acceptance.
It only means that you tell them - I understand you felt like trying a cigarette.
I understand your friends forced you into it.
I understand you watch similar things on TV.
I understand you. I understand that you felt like doing all this.
But cigarette is wrong.
This is the advice to be given. But what should be given before advice?
Acceptance and respect.
Because when we accept him, he will also accept us. Our minds come closer.
Only then we can give advice.
Don't expect your advice to be implemented immediately.
Because they need time to change the Sanskar. It cannot happen immediately.
We have to protect our children. Today many schools have counselors for that reason. But is it good?
I studied in one of the best schools in Pune. But we had no counselor at that time.
Today is one school has four counselors, another proudly says they have five. I cannot understand how that has become a status symbol.
A child is talking to a counselor instead of talking to parents at home.
Once that becomes a habit, even as an adult, he will pay and talk to counsellors for any situation in life.
What is the difference between a counsellor and a parent?
The secret is, the child of a counselor will not go to him.
Because then that person becomes parent and not counselor, to that child.
That child will go to some other counselor.
You don't even need to be a counselor for it.
Your children's friends will come and tell you about their life.
And your child will share about himself with his friends.
What is the difference between a parent and being someone else, when listening to children?
If a child tells a counsellor - Ma'am I have done such a huge mistake, or this happened to me ...
When a child tells a counselor - I am stuck in this problem ... I am stuck in this relationship ... I am addicted to this ...
Or if a child tells a counsellor - I feel like watching such movies or watching such content on the internet ...
Basically when a child discuss anything with the counselor, What does the counselor do?
First of all, the counselor says - No problem. Doesn't matter that you felt like doing it. All of us felt the same way at that age.
Immediately the child will feel - I am normal.
It's very important for the self respect of that child.
That child gets acceptance with just one line of the counselor who says - No problem.
As parents we will not say - No problem.
Just to listen to that one line, a child will go all the way to a counselor.
Just that one line will uplift a child from here to there.
Whereas one line of criticism from the parent will bring down the child's emotional state from here to here.
Actually can a counsellor give the love and support which parent can give?
They cannot.
A counselor cannot become a parent. But can a parent become a counsellor? Yes.
Can we aim to not have counsellors in schools, over the next five years?
It's not good news for the society.
Whatever happened in foreign countries, have started happening in ours.
From today can we practice being non judgemental about other people?
Parent becomes judgemental. Counselor remains non-judgemental.
Because a counsellor understands that such things happen at that age.
Parents do not understand it.
But spirituality teaches us that souls can do anything.
Their Sanskars can make them do anything.
And their past karmic accounts can make them do anything.
We just need this one understanding.
People come to us and confess such cute mistakes. They share things which they do not feel like sharing with anyone else.
When they tell us, we remember only two points.
It is that soul's sanskar, and that soul's Karmic account.
We don't even create a single thought of why they did that.
They come to us only to receive that vibration.
Why can't all of us give that vibration to each other? We can give.
A past karmic account can push us to doing anything at anytime.
But the moment we accept and respect the other person
When they receive love and support from us
Their emotional state becomes better.
And then when we give advice, they will develop the power to gradually implement that advice.
This is the role of family. This is not the role of outsiders.
Because a person can meet outsiders like counselors, only sometimes and not always.
I personally feel when people come to meet us and we speak to them.
We can speak to them once or twice. That is it.
But if they had shared their feelings with family
They could have discussed it every day, and become better sooner.
So don't we have the role of being non judgemental? Are we ready to take up that responsibility?
When we accept the other person
The first thing that happens is but our state of mind stabilises. And that is happiness.
Happiness means the graph of our state of mind should not keep going up and down throughout the day.
State fluctuates only when we see people who are different from us and believe that they are wrong.
That is when our mind gets disturbed.
But the moment we accept that it is fine, it is according to their Sanskar and Karmic accounts
Our mind becomes silent.
When our mind is silent, they get a beautiful vibration from us.
And when they receive good vibration from us, their mind also becomes silent.
This is our role to be played with each other.
This is the meaning of giving happiness to each other. We always talk of making the other person happy.
Happiness doesn't come from giving objects of comfort. We usually give toys or gadgets and ask children to feel happy.
Objects can never give happiness.
Our role is to give the right energy to each other.
How do we get the happiness, love, and peace that we want in life?
We get them only by giving them to other people.
Because by giving that energy to other people, we are the first ones to receive and experience them.
Happiness, love, and peace are qualities of the soul. A soul will experience them only when radiating them to other people.
We will not experience them if we stand in front of other people and ask them to give us happiness, love, and peace.
When it comes to anger, one person scolds and other person gets scolded.
Who gets into more trouble and more harm?
Whose BP rises? The one scolding.
Which means the one creating anger and giving to the other person
The creator of the anger gets its energy even before radiating angry energy to the other person.
The other person may not even receive that anger. Isn't it possible?
Even family members start saying - let's just mind our work. He will go on, for 5 minutes.
Even colleague get used to a person's anger
So when we create anger, eventually it will stop having any effect on other people.
But there is one person who gets affected every time, and that is me the creator of anger.
When I create anger, I am the first one to receive.
We can experience that feeling only when we radiate it to others.
Love, happiness, and peace are original Sanskars of every soul.
The other wrong Sanskars like getting angry and feeling hurt, are all acquired over many lifetimes.
Love, happiness, and peace are original Sanskars of every soul.
They are like the ingredient boxes that have gone way behind in the kitchen shelf. So we started looking for them outside.
We thought happiness comes only when we achieve something or when we buy an object of comfort.
We thought peace will be experienced only when we go to a quiet place.
And we also thought love is to be received from other people.
All these three Sanskar which were our own, have now gone back.
Therefore, we have started looking for them outside.
Rajyog meditation brings those ingredients (which have gone back in the kitchen shelf) to the front row.
And the ingredients like anger and fear which are in the front row now, it sends them way behind.
This wrong Sanskar will be pushed back so much, that we will not even remember we had them.
How many of us get angry? All.
Which means the bottle of anger has come to the front row of the ingredients in the kitchen.
Important is to remember that anger is the Sanskar which we have acquired.
Whereas, peace and love are my original Sanskars.
How is a Sanskar created? When anything is done repeatedly for 10 times or 20 times, it becomes a Sanskar.
For a few days, we just need to pay attention to the way we speak to people and the way we handle situations.
At least for one day today
No matter what situation comes, and there will be more situations today, because it is a Sunday.
Today we are able to live with family members because we are hardly together at home.
Recently there was a long article in Times of India.
That in western countries the highest divorce rate is during Christmas and New Year.
When I saw that headline, I thought I did not read properly. So I read it again.
Because I thought relationships become better during holidays.
But the article said people are not able to live together for so long, through the holidays.
So during those 10 days, they decide to separate.
So today being Sunday there will be challenging situations, and people will not be how you want them to be. Is it okay?
Today we will change our programming.
When people and situations are according to me, I will be happy.
When people and situations app not according to my way, then I will be very happy? Very good.
Whatever you choose, that will happen. It is our own mind.
We need to always remember that is our on mind.
It is the only entity that always listens to us.
Explain to your mind today - Listen, people cannot always be how you want them to be.
Just tell yourself. Why do we go to other people and explain?
Who should be always talk to?
We usually keep talking and requesting other people to be our way, although they will not obey us.
But our mind is always obedient, and yet we have never talked to it.
Just explain to your mind - That soul is behaving that way because of its Sanskar.
When you explain, your mind will understand. Gradually it will change its programming.
When someone makes a mistake, what do they need?
Love and support.
Let's apply a new formula from today - The bigger their mistake, the more love and support they get from us.
Spiritual belief system is completely opposite from the belief system of the world.
Because out in the world, we say - Bigger the mistake, more will be the scoldings they get.
Someone who make some mistake is in guilt.
They are also in the fear of getting scolded.
And their self confidence is low.
When they are in that state, we hit them emotionally.
We deplete their self-confidence so much, that they can perhaps never rise from there.
So when they make a mistake, give them love and support. Help them get up.
And once they are fine, gradually tell them to do it right, the next time.
Another aspect is that we usually discuss things which have already happened in the past.
Why did you do like that? What's that right? You why did you do it? ...
The incident has already happened.
We just need to say one line - Next time, do it this way.
We keep rewinding to the past. And we don't tell them what is to be done next time.
So the person repeats the same mistake, the next time as well.
Never discuss the problem. Always discuss solutions.
There is no point discussing why it happened or how it happened. Past has passed.
Important is, what is to be done next?
Even when we have expectations, what is the basis?
We set expectations according to our capacity or desire.
Suppose you have a Sanskar of helping other people.
When someone comes to you, you will keep your work aside and help them.
That is your Sanskar and your speciality.
But when we were in problem and went to that person, he said he was busy.
How did we feel?
That day we rewind - I did so much for him. I left all my work to help him ... I went out of my way ...
But today he is refusing me such a small help?
This means we had expected the other person also have the same speciality as we had.
Is it possible?
Most important is, if they come to us for help the next time, what do we say?
What will we do if they come to us again and say - I am stuck with this, can you please help me?
We will say - Oh, you remembered me now? Sorry, I am very busy today.
So what did we do that day? We gave up our own speciality.
Just because we did not find that speciality in the other person.
Is it safe to do that?
We always need to hold onto our virtues.
Every soul will have a different speciality.
Just because they don't have the same special quality as we have
Why should we give up our own special quality?
When we do something for other people, we do it because it is our nature.
Using our special quality repeatedly, increases it.
But what is the small mistake we all made?
We believed - My special quality is right. So it should automatically be present in everyone else.
This meant, anyone who does not have that same speciality is wrong according to us.
So we disrespected that person. And most importantly we gave that special quality.
Suppose we have the special quality of punctuality.
So we come in time, a few times. And then we say - Nobody else comes on time, why should I?
So we give up our sanskar of punctuality.
If we are honest and other colleagues are not honest, we give up our honesty.
If we have the Sanskar of working sincerely, and our colleagues leave the office early
We say what is the need for us to be sincere, and we give it up.
If we give up our special quality, just because one or two people around us don't have it
What happens to the soul battery?
It is like saying - They don't eat sweets. They eat spicy food. So I shall also eat spicy.
But by eating spicy food, who health is getting affected? Ours.
So from today we need to keep the the bottle of chillys (unhealthy sanskars) right at the back on the kitchen shelf.
And bring the sugar bottle (good sanskars) right at the front.
And most important is the sugar bottle (good sanskars) should be at the front in our mind, not just in our words.
Today, we are often extra sugary-sweet in our words (not in our thoughts).
